(IVANA KHATRI, a freelance writer/ blogger)
Dear Husband,
Last night
you yelled at me for no reason. I understand that you’re totally stressed out
from your work and appreciate you for working so hard for us. What I really
don’t understand is… why me? Why do I have to bear all your mood swings and
tantrums? Let me remind you that I’m not your mother. I’m the woman who shares
your life with you along with all your lows and highs. I walk along with you in
smooth and rough. Still I fail to occupy any place of respect or equality
whatsoever.
You accused
me yesterday for a lot of things that you’ve suffered because of me. Allow me
the liberty to answer all your points one by one:
1.You blamed me for doing nothing at
home and enjoying my life, while you suffer working so hard. Let me first be
grateful to you for being the bread earner. But, my dear, you conveniently
forgot who cooks that bread for you and take care of your kids along with all the other culinary items you all wish me to expertise in as it's too expensive to eat out every
weekend. Who makes sure your house, your clothes and other stuff are all clean
and neatly stacked in their places, ready to use? Let’s not even bring the kids
stuff in this list. I know now that the ‘job’ that I do is certainly steep low and thankless.
Kindly find a good nanny, a housekeeper, a cook and a driver for yourself
and your kids. Because I SO QUIT!!
2. You held me accountable for ruining
your social life… that I refuse to invite your friends and family members to
entertain you out of laziness. (Lazy eh? I won’t be whining again about my lack
of energy after the hectic routine).
So dear hubby, you again missed the fact that I’d too sacrificed my
family, friends, my home and even my town for marrying you. I again understand
that you’re not designed to appreciate my sacrifice.
3. I recall you have some issues with me
going out for lunch or coffee get togethers. Well, I assume that I can too,
raise some similar issues with you and your beer outings, game screening,
weekend getaway from wife and kids… the list still goes on. What confuses me is
that the stress that you claim so desperately want to flee from is... work or your
wife and kids?
4. You said that I’m not a good
housewife or a mother. You blamed me for all the shortcomings that our children
have. Our kids are not smart and perfect enough to be showed off to make
neighbors jealous. (I feel the genes could take a little bit burden of the long
list of credits). And I don’t encourage loads of guests to stay at our house.
Well, you took the liberty of placing such allegations on me because you think
you have the upper hand of being the one who brings money at home.
Let me also take the liberty and remind you that this was the deal that
we made when we tied the knot- you earn and I take care of the house. You have
found loads of limitations in my work but gave me no authority to do the same.
Have I ever nagged you for not getting promoted? Did I ever step into your
office and meddle in your decisions regarding your work? You’ve conveniently
taken my silence to be lack of education. If you want, I can show you my
graduation degree. But that’s no point to discuss. I forgive you for that anyway.
But what I can’t forgive you about is that you interfere a lot at ‘my workplace’. If you don’t like my work, then hire someone else to do it. Taken
if that person is willing to do it in the same amount of money that you spend on me (that, by the way is too limited) and
have the patience to listen to all your nagging. Meanwhile in the free time that I’ll get,
I would love to earn something for myself and fulfill my wishes which I surely
could not with what I have in my pocket.
So, as most
of the hurting points are now two-way discussed, I would like to omit the petty
issues. This blame game is completely exhausting and would go on forever if we
continue pointing out at each other. Please remember that we are a team and not
opposition parties in parliament. Nobody is perfect and we are no Gods to
deserve an epitome of perfection either. Thus, we need to stick together like
partners and try to ignore each other’s flaws. Keep one thing in mind that no
other relation would be found beside you in tough time, except me.
P.S. Kindly
keep this letter handy whenever you feel the urge to use me to drain out your
stress.
Your Loving
Wife.
XOXO
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