Let’s begin
with a huge round of applause for all those who fall under this category.
Handling teenagers is a task that we had not consciously signed up for when we
held the bundle of joy for the first time in our arms. Those innocent eyes,
tiny features, soft cuddly babies had never warned us even once that after all
this diaper changing phase, toddling and crawling phase (rather accident prone
phase), school going phase; we would eventually encounter the real truth of the
evolution of life.
Yes, the
teenage phase when enters the life of our once the most cuddly creature who had
never ever done anything before seeking our permission; suddenly all grows up
and becomes an altogether different and independent creature. We see all those
adolescent changes happening with all those mood swings, tantrums, the struggle
to look pretty and forget about all the studies, and sadly last but not the
least, the friends seem smarter to them than their own parents who’ve guided
through life so far.
No one ever
gave us any clue as to how to handle this phase. We are although sure that our
parents faced similar adversities when we were young, but have the species
evolved so much with the generation leap? With the full blown exposure of
social media, internet and television, our kids these days stand wholly exposed
to the grave evils than we had ever imagined in our days before we stepped in
colleges. The innocence is lost somewhere far on the way.
It’s sad but
it’s true that more we try to hide our kids from the worldly exposure of things
like drugs, sex, alcohol, violence etc. still they catch up faster.
The problem
is not what’s happening with them, but is that although our children have
evolved and matured faster as compared to their last generation, but for us,
it’s really hard to let go. One part of us believes that they are still our
tiny toddlers who need us in every aspect of life. Another part of us just
cannot grow up to be evolved as a parent of a teenager rather than the toddler.
If these
kids have grown up, then we should too. We need to build trust with them.
Instead of being a parent forever, it’s time for us to cool down and settle to
be a friend. Believe me, it’s a way harder to be a pal than being a parent. For
getting closer to these smart kids, we too have to really work hard to win
their trust and share their interests in their free time. During that process,
we have to let them take the lead for a while.
Trust is a
two way street. If we expect our kids to trust us, we need to have faith in
them. We conveniently boast that our upbringing was flawless, then how can we
doubt the end result could be full of vices? Our kids are the mirror to our own
thoughts. If we cannot trust their decisions then the flaw lies in us and not
in them.
A kid
belonging to a sound family with strong bond would never stray to the wrong
direction. It’s not the world that spoils our child, but is the loop hole in
the family that brings the doom to itself.
Treat your
child as an adult. Listen to what he has to say and don’t take the liberty to
spill your thoughts over it. The time to force your judgment on them was before
they turned teens. Now we can only guide and suggest, that too in a humble way.
We can do what good friends do… give them options and let them form their
opinions themselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment